It says 20 Walking Lunges on the board. 20. I know this. I didn’t actually come up with the number, but when Meghan asked me the day before what I thought about the number, I weighed in and said that it sounded good and made sense: 5 pullups, 10 pushups, 15 air squats, 20 walking lunges; 5-10-15-20 … a perfect progression.

I even helped coach the 6AM class.

So why, when 3,2,1,GO! was called in the 7AM, did I immediately lock onto the number 15, and then proceed to do 5-10-15-15 for 11 rounds, until Meghan (completely unaware of my rep-shorting) non-judgmentally called out, “Get in these last 20 walking lunges!” – during my 12th round? I have no idea, no idea how that could have possibly happened.

And, it really sucks, because – for once – I was having a really great WOD. (Maybe because I was only doing 15 walking lunges, it’s been suggested, but a great big “whatever” to THAT passive aggressive comment!) I was doing great, I tell ya! I was completely in the zone, vaguely aware of some of my favorite songs coming on in the background, vaguely aware that life was going on outside of my own personal workspace, but not really aware of too much else. I wasn’t resting, wasn’t staring at the bar, wasn’t wasting time at the chalk bucket. I wasn’t looking at the clock, wishing for it all to be over, like I do during Kalsu. I was just doing the work, in it until the very end, and when it was time to stop, I knew someone would tell me.

So when I heard “20” walking lunges, during the very last minute of the wod, I couldn’t believe it. Of COURSE it was 20 walking lunges. WHY DID I THINK IT WAS 15? I hadn’t been shorting them on purpose, just to put up a big number. I seriously thought I was being completely ethical, careful with chin over the bar, full ROM pushups, etc. I would have SWORN I was doing the WOD as written on the board.

My first thought was, “No one knows. I should just not tell anyone. I still worked really hard, I still did a lot of work. I’ll just do these last 20 and pretend I did them all like that.”

That thought lasted about a 10th of a second. How would I ever be able to live with myself if I did that? I wouldn’t be able to look myself in the mirror, and would carry my lie with me to the grave, just one more thing to beat myself up over and feel guilty about in the wee hours of the morning. It would be like putting an RX next to my name when I knew I hadn’t hit the target on my wallballs every time, or hadn’t gotten my chin over the bar on my pullups every time.

Instead, I made a furious attempt to make up every single one of the 55 lunges before time ran out, but only got through 30 them. Not that that’s the SAME, but at least it would have been SOMETHING.

And then I wrote an F next to my name.

What a waste of a WOD. I won’t be making that mistake any time soon.